Most people crave certainty. Knowing what to expect gives us control over our lives and our environment. We can prepare, plan and make good decisions that prepare us well for the future and protect us from harm. When life is uncertain, we lose our ability to predict, plan and prepare. We start to feel vulnerable, as our lives become harder to control.
The current outbreak of COVID-19 in Sydney has created uncertainty for many of us. We don’t know when the lockdown will be lifted. For those of us involved in school, we don’t know how long we will be engaged in remote learning. Plans are put on hold, as we are separated from friends and family. Our economic outlook is worrying, with small businesses, and their employees are particularly vulnerable right now.
When we are faced with so much uncertainty, anxiety thrives. Our imaginations can run ahead of us, conjuring up all sorts of worst-case-scenarios.
It’s normal to find uncertainty difficult, especially for those of us already predisposed to feeling anxiety. Here are some ways to manage uncertainty that I find useful.
Stay in the present.
Most of the time, the things that cause us greatest anxiety are what we imagine about what will happen in the future, or what we recall that happened in the past. We can become so caught up in those remembered and imagined scenarios, that we forget to experience our moment-by-moment existence. Mindfulness can help.
As I write this post, the sun is streaming through my living room window, creating a toasty patch of warmth and light on an otherwise cold, wintery day. I can hear the chirrups of some noisy miner birds and, looking out to the sky, can see a vast, stretch of blue with light cirrus clouds wafting across. Noticing what is happening in my body, I feel my neck muscles stiff with tension, but my feet are cosy in their warm socks.
Before I took that brief moment to notice what was happening in the present, my mind felt full and busy. I had a nagging anxiety about writing this well, and about getting through my long to do list. But, in taking a brief moment to be still and present, and just notice what is happening in and around me, I now feel calm and at peace.
Accept the reality of the situation.
When faced with difficult situations, our instinct is often to fix or change what is happening. When faced with uncertainty, our instinct is often to resist, and to create certainty when there is none to be found. We can become impatient and angry as we wait for information and decisions to be made. We might feel frustrated or fearful, and rail against what is happening. While these are normal reactions, they are ultimately not helpful. No matter how much we might rail against what is happening, we are unable to change something that is out of our control. I find that when I stop resisting the reality of a situation, and start accepting it, the negative emotions I experience lose some of their power. By simply acknowledging that ‘it is what it is’, my anxiety and frustration ease, and I am able to have a more productive response.
Focus on what you can control
Once we’ve accepted that a situation is what it is, we can stop focusing on what is outside our control and start to focus on what we can do. At the time of writing, I have no idea what I will be doing at work next week. I cannot predict or prepare. The only certainty I have right now, regarding work, is what I am doing today, so that will be my focus.
When I allow myself to let go of the things I cannot control, I feel lighter. I am longer carrying other people’s burdens or the worries of tomorrow, next week and next month, instead, I just carry what I need to carry today.
Accept the difficult emotions
When we experience physical pain, we try to get rid of it. We might rest or take Panadol or massage our aching muscles. When we experience emotional pain, our instinct is also to get rid of it. This can lead to us trying to bury or deny what we are feeling. But when we resist our difficult emotions, they often return with greater intensity – in my case at 2am in the morning!
Acknowledging rather than resisting our negative emotions relieves their intensity, and helps us to move forward. If you feel angry, acknowledge that and let it be. Try not to create a secondary emotion by judging yourself for yourself for having that feeling. Of course, if you do go on to feel ashamed that you feel angry, or frustrated that you are anxious, acknowledge that as well. Treat yourself with acceptance, compassion and kindness.
Notice when you are being driven by emotions
When we experience strong emotions, they can alter our perception of situations. We can become more easily offended, perceiving threats and slights that aren’t really there. Acknowledging what we are feeling helps remove the mental filter the emotion has produced.
When we notice, acknowledge and accept what we are feeling, we create a mental space that helps us to see if we are responding in ways that are reasonable. For example, if we notice we feel angry after reading an email, we can choose to wait until we are in a calmer frame of mind before responding. If we don’t notice our anger, we are risk a reckless rather than reasonable response.
Let go of perfectionism
When times are uncertain, we seek to control what we can. For some people, this leads to perfectionism, and putting unnecessary pressure on themselves to reach unreasonably high standards. None of us are ever perfect, and, in the current time of change and uncertainty, we have to work in new ways, and carry added burdens of worry and responsibility. If you notice you are slipping into perfectionism, try to give yourself a break. Rather than aiming for perfection, accept your limitations and focus on doing what is reasonable and realistic in the circumstances.
Remember that all things pass
One thing we do know is certain is that all things change, and nothing is ever permanent. We sometimes fear that difficult times will last forever. When life is good, we sometimes forget that those times will also pass. Life has its seasons. While things are challenging right now, this won’t last forever. Good times will come again.



“We Are Uncommon | Uncommon Schools,” [http://www.uncommonschools.org/our-approach/who-we-are]
“Our Mission and Vision,” [http://www.achievementfirst.org/our-approach/mission/] 